Tales of a Newbie

When I started teaching yoga I had no idea what I was doing. I was insecure, unsure & unaware of my quirks. I would walk into a yoga studio to teach and I would be a mess internally. Anything & everything triggered me. I would beat myself up endlessly about what I did wrong and how I could have done it better. I wasn’t able to convey what I wanted, to my students during class...as though the words were stuck in my head. Instead I always sounded flustered and disjointed. Which didn’t work for anyone.

I remember one instance I went to demo at a studio and at the end, the studio owner politely said to me, “you’re too green”...which meant, I wasn’t there yet for what they needed. I smiled & said thank you but was already starting to beat myself up. One of the other teachers that was there that day, could see the disappointment in my eyes, and kindly said to me that she could tell how much I beat myself up & that I should not take it personally. That I should work on it, and to be myself.

And guess what?

That’s what I did. I worked on myself. I worked on my words. I worked on my practice. I worked on what worked for ME!

I took smaller jobs at really small studios and did the leg work.

During this time, in the last few years, I’ve heard sooooo much “feedback” (PC term for assessment) I’ve heard sooooo many “opinions” (judgments) about myself...about how I should teach and about what I should say. I’ve even been “guided” (directed) on what music to play. To all those people I say, “Thank you”.

Thank you for teaching me to do the work myself. Thank you for teaching me to be relentless in my pursuits. Thank you for teaching me to trust myself. Thank you for teaching me to believe in myself. It is because of you that I am ME! Because that’s all I can be...ME.

These days...FINALLY and rather recently...I’ve, started to truly find my voice, to connect to MY words.

These days, when I walk into a classroom to teach yoga, I KNOW without a doubt what my purpose is and how to convey that message, in a direct, clear and loving way. It is my wish that my students feel the same, that they connect to and resonate with my words, so they may find to healing for their minds and longevity for their bodies.

And to anyone who ever doubted me, to anyone who doubts me. Thank you.

The best is yet to come....To be continued ...